*post gets sudden burst of notes*
I bet microwaves are actually just filled with a million invisible eyes that just stare at food until it gets all embarrassed and hot
how does she know that’s even aimed at her that is a public bathroom
Anyone who thinks Shakespeare is boring apparently missed the greatest stage direction ever written:
I want that to be the final line of my biography.
Do you know the physical and mental pain and torture someone must be going through in order to starve, cut, purge or even consider suicide? No? Well then i highly suggest you shut the fuck up.
something about niall’s txf tour outfit always seemed familiar to me and i finally figured it out
yes i’m very good in bed. excellent in bed. *props up pillows and folds blankets* *pillow falls over* uh *sweats nervously* this doesn’t usually happen i promise
i hate seeing people my age who’ve got their life together already like what the fuck
pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know what is wrong with your car’s engine but if you open and close the hood like this, it looks like the car is talking